First, I must be accepting of your praise for my magnificent goal on Saturday. Thank you. I made it really fantastic for you.
I had many options in that game but I only chose the best looking one to score. That is because I believe inferior chances are beneath a great club like Manchester and a great role model like me.
Football should never be ugly, it is a very beautiful thing, and so is my life. This is why my second important habit of successful people like me is habit 2: Good Lookingness.
My slogan in life is taken from the great American real life story Men In Black, where I first heard the important wisdom: “You know what the difference is between you and me? I make this look good.”
I agree with this because everyone knows that beauty makes you a better person. But it is not easy when ugliness is all around you.
Ok so I have been lucky in life, having good looks in a big body and a big head that helps more people see me from further distances.
But this beauty is a commitment I work hard on. After all I was patient a long time, taking criticism before I unleashed my flick against Sunderland that made everyone love me. Many of you have voted it your favourite moment in life, and I agree.
So patience in the face of ugliness is important, and that is the lesson I want you to learn from me. There are many days where you will have to be strong and refuse the ugly options that life gives you, like wearing clothes from the supermarket or driving a car that is not a Mercedes or even running without the ball.
But rest assured loyal fans, in the moments of your weakness you will always have my strengths to look up to.
That is why I make a promise to you here and now, a promise to fill your lives with as much beautifulness as you can accept. I hope you are strong enough take it.
Good bye and good lookingness to you all!
Find more Berbatov musings at Dirty Tackle.