Unrealistic summer transfer wankfest III

[fat maradona]

Ddg was a teenager when he was the main GK. That's what this job entails. Lammens is 23.
He's going to fuck up, but he'll probably get some rope because Onana has been that bad.

You'll be the first one to start trolling him

[JoelfuckingGlazer]

4 of our next 5 games are against City, Chelsea, Brentford (away) and Liverpool.

There's no easy choice, but I'd stick with Bayindir at the moment. At least until we get through those games.

I'd go with Heaton. He's the safest hands we have, least likely to throw one in, he has the experience to navigate a spell of pressure and focus on the position etc. And the experience thing is key - if we get a couple of beatings, he doesn't have to worry about his personal recovery or future career, he can insulate Lammens from it.

[dozer]

Ddg was a teenager when he was the main GK. That's what this job entails. Lammens is 23.
He's going to fuck up, but he'll probably get some rope because Onana has been that bad.

You'll be the first one to start trolling him

I don't post on twitter or fb, attacking players.
I post if they're good or bad at football wrt to being good enough for United here. How am I trolling players, first or not?

[FuB]

Ddg was a teenager when he was the main GK. That's what this job entails. Lammens is 23.
He's going to fuck up, but he'll probably get some rope because Onana has been that bad.

You'll be the first one to start trolling him

I don't post on twitter or fb, attacking players.
I post if they're good or bad at football wrt to being good enough for United here. How am I trolling players, first or not?

I suspect Fatty means you'll be the first to start trolling here about him and, to be fair, he's already right

[Felwin]

Ddg was a teenager when he was the main GK. That's what this job entails. Lammens is 23.
He's going to fuck up, but he'll probably get some rope because Onana has been that bad.

You'll be the first one to start trolling him

I don't post on twitter or fb, attacking players.
I post if they're good or bad at football wrt to being good enough for United here. How am I trolling players, first or not?

I suspect Fatty means you'll be the first to start trolling here about him and, to be fair, he's already right

Banking on a player being shit for us is a safe bet Dozer has been cashing in for years

[Felwin]

4 of our next 5 games are against City, Chelsea, Brentford (away) and Liverpool.

There's no easy choice, but I'd stick with Bayindir at the moment. At least until we get through those games.

I'd go with Heaton. He's the safest hands we have, least likely to throw one in, he has the experience to navigate a spell of pressure and focus on the position etc. And the experience thing is key - if we get a couple of beatings, he doesn't have to worry about his personal recovery or future career, he can insulate Lammens from it.

This is a shout I'd not really considered and sounds almost sensible. I do think you're underestimating the effect that could have on the other players though. They're not idiots and will be fully aware of us leaning on a training keeper because we're in the shit. Could actually increase the pressure on them - and Lammens when he comes in.

Plus it's a very clear sign to Lammens that he's "not ready"... I'm starting to lean towards chucking him in tbf. If he's good enough, he'll come through fairly unscathed and we'll know a lot about him already. If he fucks up, we know we definitely need a proper number 1 in Jan/next summer.

[Fuck the Glazers]

If they throw Lammens in at the deep end and he sinks he should sue them. United is like a bad employer. You naively join them assuming it will be good. But in reality the club/company is fucked, losing money, and his department, the GKs, is a bin fire. But they'll have filled his head with bullshit about how mature he is, how he's world class, is ready etc and they'll watch him burn and then buy a new one in summer.

[JoelfuckingGlazer]

4 of our next 5 games are against City, Chelsea, Brentford (away) and Liverpool.

There's no easy choice, but I'd stick with Bayindir at the moment. At least until we get through those games.

I'd go with Heaton. He's the safest hands we have, least likely to throw one in, he has the experience to navigate a spell of pressure and focus on the position etc. And the experience thing is key - if we get a couple of beatings, he doesn't have to worry about his personal recovery or future career, he can insulate Lammens from it.

This is a shout I'd not really considered and sounds almost sensible. I do think you're underestimating the effect that could have on the other players though. They're not idiots and will be fully aware of us leaning on a training keeper because we're in the shit. Could actually increase the pressure on them - and Lammens when he comes in.

Plus it's a very clear sign to Lammens that he's "not ready"... I'm starting to lean towards chucking him in tbf. If he's good enough, he'll come through fairly unscathed and we'll know a lot about him already. If he fucks up, we know we definitely need a proper number 1 in Jan/next summer.

Fair points.

I have to assume that the club believe he's ready. Otherwise, we should have gone for Martinez. We need a keeper now, not a 'project'.

[dozer]

Ddg was a teenager when he was the main GK. That's what this job entails. Lammens is 23.
He's going to fuck up, but he'll probably get some rope because Onana has been that bad.

You'll be the first one to start trolling him

I don't post on twitter or fb, attacking players.
I post if they're good or bad at football wrt to being good enough for United here. How am I trolling players, first or not?

I suspect Fatty means you'll be the first to start trolling here about him and, to be fair, he's already right

Banking on a player being shit for us is a safe bet Dozer has been cashing in for years

Please. I didn't prematurely say Cunha or Mbuemo would be shit for us, did I? If they have a shit game, I'll call it out.
For instance, Cunha hasn't scored shit yet and he's being hailed as a great player for us.
To pull this off, you need to be vague, and there's someone pretty close by who's a specialist in making vague comments.

[Felwin]

You'll be the first one to start trolling him

I don't post on twitter or fb, attacking players.
I post if they're good or bad at football wrt to being good enough for United here. How am I trolling players, first or not?

I suspect Fatty means you'll be the first to start trolling here about him and, to be fair, he's already right

Banking on a player being shit for us is a safe bet Dozer has been cashing in for years

Please. I didn't prematurely say Cunha or Mbuemo would be shit for us, did I? If they have a shit game, I'll call it out.
For instance, Cunha hasn't scored shit yet and he's being hailed as a great player for us.
To pull this off, you need to be vague, and there's someone pretty close by who's a specialist in making vague comments.

Funny how you left Sesko out who you've already said won't make it after 3 appearances off the bench

It's okay to be wrong Dozey. We won't think any less of you for it.